There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
