The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
