You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize