I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
