Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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