I wish my penis had an off switch
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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