that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
