i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
