12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
