I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
