Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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