Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
high people should be assigned attendants
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
