I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
