I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
only you would photoshop your dick
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize