belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
