Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
