I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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