I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
