The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
