morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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