Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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