I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
