Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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