I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
