hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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