Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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