Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver just had a heart attack.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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