dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
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