I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
