Only a mothe r could love this liver
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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