I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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