Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
