I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
