That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I need moral support for this bender
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
