Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Randomize
