my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
