Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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