i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
