I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
