Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize