i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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