The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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