How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
