Where is the hickey?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
soo... how was my night?
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