I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Sorry about my life...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
