Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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