Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
