Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Farmville is her only friend.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
