Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
