well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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