Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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