Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
