OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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