Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
