do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
