This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize